AUTHOR: Kelly Bean TITLE: What Must The Neighbors Think? DATE: 9/28/2006 08:18:00 PM ----- BODY:
Sadie's body count so far this week: 1 large plastic bowl that wasn't even mine (usually used for salads...and used often might I add) 1 almost full bottle of beta food 4 plates (seriously detrimental considering I was already down to 6, from 8) Added today: 1 most of a bottle of a brand new bottle of beta food (thank God above it was the pellet kind & not flakes) 1 medium sized soup bowl The first time I saw the carnage this evening it was only to pick up the homicidal dog on my way to other things. I stared at it for about two minutes recreating in my brain what probably happened to cause it, sort of like CSI, you know...I say quickly because after having seen so effing many I'm experienced in this. I just couldn't deal with-so I walked out the door. It wasn't until I got home tonight that I had the ability to get angry, and I did get angry...with a rolled up magazine (and no one can tell me that she doesn't remember what she did...not when she cowers everytime I enter the scene of the crime until it's been cleaned up. She remembers all right). It was only when I was picking up tiny beta food pellet after tiny beta food pellet trying to salvage it did I start to smile inside. Yes, it's crazy...but I actually looked at her and verbally gloated about the fact that in a few weeks time there would really be nothing left for her to destroy after I gave it all away or stored it. What must they think upstairs? They really don't go anywhere...they're a retired couple. Here they spend all day hearing things breaking and crashing to the floor and then yelling. I bet it sounds like I'm domestically violent towards myself.

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----- -------- AUTHOR: Kelly Bean TITLE: dogishness DATE: 9/25/2006 10:41:00 PM ----- BODY:
++excited to go to class this evening as i missed last week's. this is the class we're told that there will be a quiz in every night on the previous week's chapters (hello six million chapters read over the weekend). i thought nothing of this. *quiz* to me is like 15 questions...20 tops. i don't know that i'm alone in this impression either, of course i could be wrong. 50 questions it turns out to be. 50 questions on existentialism and humanism and rogers and gestalt and therapy that runs together so closely because they all begat each other that you really don't know who's who. 50. that's, like, a test. is it not? not to mention that they were the type of sneaky questions where there really could be about 4 different right answers. so sneaky in fact that i was tempted to stand up, point at my professor and accuse her of sabotage. although, that was nothing compare to the hellstorm i walked into when i got home... ++so, i'm an asshole and i forgot to put the key under my mat so my sister could let sadie out. my mom called me about 5 min. before class to tell me that my sister couldn't find the key. for a second i didn't really get it until i replayed in my mind, my rush out the door this morning where i didn't put the key under the mat. shit, hell and everything else. i couldn't concentrate the entire class because i imagined that maybe she was dying a doggie suicide at home due to her misery at having been let out in so long. although, no prior bad-dog episodes of hers could have prepared me for what i walked into. i suppose that she probably took a running jump to actually get up on the kitchen counter since the garbage was knocked over (the garbage that is on the counter in the first place so that she won't get frisky and knock it over), the cat food eaten and my entire dish drying rack knocked over onto the floor (with all the dishes having impacted at 100mph by the looks of it). i cursed myself for the stupidity of having coffee last weekend because coffee grounds had snowed everywhere. after a moment of staring dumbly at it all i started cleaning it up and realized that i now have only two plates (exceptionally sad since they were disappearing even before this and i can't figure out for the life of me where they went). i couldn't even get mad at her really...i would have torn everything to hell if i was her too. although i must admit i was shocked to find even the fish food empty...so shocked in fact that i forgot myself for a second and after picking up the package carcass off my bedroom floor, looked at her and said out loud really, as if she might actually have answered. although... ++there is absolutely nothing (nothing) in the world that beats the fact that today i successfully bullied an apt. rentor into allowing me to interrupt his personal, peaceful meeting at a coffee joint in queen anne in order to give him a deposit check so that the one apt. i found that had everything i was looking for right now wouldn't get rented. nice. sometimes it pays to be a never-take-no-for-an-answer brat. $615/month, in queen anne (minutes away from school AND work), new carpet, allows sadie in all her bulk to live there, available now and best of all...is not the basement of a house where all winter i would awaken daily to fight a war with spiders. and, yes, i realize that dogishness is not a word.

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