AUTHOR: Kelly Bean TITLE: true friends vs. "male friends" DATE: 8/31/2006 09:23:00 AM ----- BODY:
let me begin by giving proper credit to those it is due to. you'll see why in a moment. colin-you are one of the only close male friends i have/have had who has never engaged in the following: 1. getting weird/dramatic/mental on me 2. over-stepping boundaries at this moment in time i appreciate that more than you know. billy bean & favorite-although we are not really close friends, i can say the same about you. and i thank you for that. i never once dreamed that i would say what i am about to say-most of my life i have subscribed to the ideal that 'relationships are what people make them'. this is true for the most part. however... in general (this is my disclaimer so that i am not accused of making a blanket statement), i don't feel that most heterosexual men and women can be 'just friends' and have it work out successfully. this is not to include: work friends, organization/club friends, friend's ex's (since they are off limits for romance anyway) and acquaintances (friends of friends). of course, this is simply how i feel-and maybe you could chalk it up to some of the particular friends i've chosen (i.e. chosen badly). it's how i feel nonetheless. and again, of course, i don't feel that all men/women friend relationships are subject to this. for the most part, most of the male friends i've tried to have, have at some point gone weird. for example, there was the friend that felt as if in our relationship, it was acceptable to act in a controlling manner. when i pointed out how i felt, he stormed out of the chosen venue for said talk without a word and i never heard from him again. obviously, in light of such a display of defensiveness, my feelings were correct. another example. i think at some point, some male friends, realizing that they'll never have more of you than 'just a friend' find an excuse or create a situation to end the "friendship". usually, it's a ridiculous situation that at the very least, provides comedy for other friends who get to share in it. many times, there is a lesson packed in there somewhere. however, sometimes, even though humor can be found in the situation...it hurts a little. regardless of how ridiculous their reasoning for doing so is, when someone that used to call themselves a friend attacks you personally, it's going to get you where it counts (which is, of course, the reason people do that). i am also taking the following out of a recent situation: =true friends do not hide the fact that something offended them for an eternity...they are direct with you & share this with you at the time-& then you both move on. if something offended them but they choose to look past it, they never share it with you. they definitely do not pretend that everything is great for a while only to send a scathing email attacking your entire person. (can we say, passive-aggressive at its finest?) =true friends can have a differing view on something than you and agree to disagree without personalizing it. =true friends do not take their personal issues out on you. =true friends are there when they are needed. when you say you need them, their response is usually something like, i'll be there, with no hesitation. they will sit with you for a while and let you cry without even asking questions...without even knowing what's wrong. they will sometimes hug you while you do this. they will do you the kindness of telling you the truth, all the while being careful to spare your feelings while they tell you their truth. when the time is right, they might tell you a joke to make you smile. (thank you, j, that i get to take this away from the situation as well.) i am so fortunate, to have so many of that last kind of friend. and if you know you're that kind of person to me...please know that i appreciate you more than words could really express.

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----- -------- AUTHOR: Kelly Bean TITLE: shoes vs. comb-overs DATE: 5/08/2006 12:00:00 PM ----- BODY:
while returning from my first break today, the gentlemen that happened to walk in the elevator after me had one of the most awesome comb-overs that i’d yet had the pleasure of seeing up close. my very first thought was ‘holy god i’m glad i never have to worry about that happening to me’. however, as we passed the 2nd floor and then the third i started to think of a few more reasons why i thank the universe that i was blessed enough to have been born without that pesky ‘y’ chromosome that seems to screw so many things up. the following are the top ten that have been narrowed down from many: **1 comb-over. i believe that was clarified above in a sufficient manner. **2 at almost any hour of the day the likelihood that i will smell better than a man is fairly high. **3 pups respond much better to a female’s voice over a male’s. **4 my feet are much more aesthetically pleasing. **5 being a female, at a young age i was probably instilled with a much higher capacity to treat others with consideration, respect and sensitivity. **6 if (god forbid) i gain weight as i age it will most likely refrain from resting only in my mid region; in other words i probably won’t be stuck with a huge, hairy beast sticking out from my belly. **7 if my back grows hair it looks like fuzz and is considered cute. **8 being bitchy is no longer called being bitchy. we call it assertiveness now. **9 i have a profound appreciation for the finer things in life...shoes. (so...those are actually my shoes too) **10 i know without being told that it’s never acceptable to answer another phone when someone is discussing something very important with you.

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Blogger K DATE:5/08/2006 01:40:00 PM I feel like my "boys are dumb" comment came right on time! Who knew, you'd had this whole post written the whole time!

Wait til Bill comes in tomorrow... ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Blogger Kelly Bean DATE:5/08/2006 02:14:00 PM kay-see...you holla'd at me! ----- -------- AUTHOR: Kelly Bean TITLE: hardware store etiquette DATE: 4/29/2006 01:22:00 PM ----- BODY:
after the whole infected sliver debacle (courtesy of hours of bare gardening) last weekend i realized it would be best to invest in some garden gloves. since i have become maniacal about my rented backyard i decided it couldn't wait and one day last week went from work right to the home depot that is a block down the street before driving home. i went right to the garden center to locate gloves and was hoping to find a nice trowel as well to assist with weeding. before i found the gloves i happened upon the shelves of various decorative fencing/stonework. in my rented backyard there is a tree that stands near the garage; it sits among a bed of bluebells whose dirt had begun to overtake the walkway. apparently that dirt had also swallowed a few pieces of the red brick edging that had once surrounded it. as luck would have it the first aisle i walked down boasted that exact same brick edging. of course, because i've gone insane about the yard, i was forced to grab a few. they were heavy, and became more so the longer i toted them around the store. i continued on to look for a trowel and gloves. as i was carrying around the equivalent of a brick baby from hell (it also had started to feel as if it was actually 80 degrees outside) i heard a male voice say "those are a couple of nice lookin' bricks you got there". seriously? i actually stopped walking and turned to find out what kind of male would utter such veiled harassment. the guy had to have been at least 60. had he been even 20 years younger i would have hurled the brick baby from hell right at him for assuming that i was so vapid as to think he was actually complimenting it. okay, so i would only have done that in my fantasy world where it would be completely acceptable to act on any absurd impulse that presents itself. at the very least i would have chewed him a new ear. i think it was clear evidence of my progressing maturity when i realized immediately that anything i attempted to say in response to that salty old character would have been wasted effort. so instead i blinked at him a few times and, at a loss for words, just kept on walking. pick your battles, right?

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