AUTHOR: Kelly Bean TITLE: It was everything I had hoped it would be DATE: 10/09/2006 01:31:00 PM ----- BODY:
I have moved a total of 11 times since the age of 20 (that's an average of 1.375 times per year). I counted because it was brought to my attention that some people consider it humorous that I continually move-that I can't stay in one place for a myriad of different reasons that don't normally make themselves clear until the lease is about to expire. Okay. I'll give that one up...it is chuckle worthy that I'm a little crazy that way. I get my own dose of humor that people even find my craziness funny. As J pointed out, there always ends up being something unjustifiably wrong with a place that only months prior I was more than happy to exhaust myself (and others) in order to move into. But, um...there is usually something wrong by the time the lease is up-and it's not always my fault. At some point my residences do me horribly wrong. Case and point...
Move #1-Moved in with boyfriend to Lake Forest Park.
Move #2-Promptly broke up with boyfriend one month later and moved out, in order to move in with best friend in Edmonds.
Move #3-Moved out after becoming not so best friends, in order to move in with irresponsible male friend & messy male friend/ex to Shoreline (did I mention I made stellar decisions back then?).
Move #4-Moved out after 2 months in order to move in with new boyfriend (after dating for only 2 months) to North Bend.
Move #5-Two months later moved back home after new boyfriend assaulted our roommate causing them to move out & us to not be able to afford the house anymore...moved to my mom's house in Lake Forest Park. Had to move out shortly thereafter for all the obvious reasons.
Move #6-Moved to the first apartment that only I was responsible for (and would therefore keep) in Mountlake Terrace. Not really totally sure why I left there...it may have had something to do with needing to not be in a place that I was once terrorized by someone in.
Move #7-Moved in with next new boyfriend temporarily (consequently have kept said new boyfriend the entire time up until now) in Everett. Had to move out shortly thereafter because I wanted it to be a temporary thing only.
Move #8-Moved to yet another "my own apartment" in Edmonds. Had to move out because I had gotten a new job downtown and had grown tired of driving for eternity every day (I think they were going to significantly raise my rent as well).
Move #9-Moved on my own to Lake City which was somewhat closer to work. Had to move out because I didn't sign a very long lease & they were going to raise my rent.
Move #10-Moved to Greenwood because a)it was cheaper, b)it was a little closer to work, and c)it had a huge yard & tons of space (due to yard, was able to look past the fact that it was a basement, therefore dark...and had only a skinny shower stall rather than a bathtub). Had to move out because with the onset of fall it became even more dark in there as well as the fact that spiders began to move in on the house in droves (not to mention the skinny shower stall).
Move #11-Moved to Queen Anne where currently I am completely ass over tea kettle, in love. It is bright, it is in the middle of everything and there are people around and fun things to walk to and coziness and close to school/work and, and, and.
A bomb would have to go off in the building before I started to hate it at this point. And despite the sad fact that by the time J and I finally fell asleep last night the entire less than 500 sq feet looked like a war zone with how little I had gotten organized, I was frighteningly happy to be sleeping there...even in an ungodly mess. I would bet my dog that this new apt. will probably never do me wrong.
As you can see below, high school reunion was more fun than I allowed myself to think that it could be and I left it feeling happy that I had made the choice to do it...
The only low point of the weekend? Effing kiddie porn freaks get set free.

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----- -------- AUTHOR: Kelly Bean TITLE: what DO you do with a drunken pirate? DATE: 8/15/2006 04:06:00 PM ----- BODY:
there's many things you can do actually-there's an entire song about it, that i sang too many times this weekend (thank you gig harbor renaissance faire). personally if i was the drunken pirate my choice would be being strung up the mast of the ____ (insert any pirate ship name here). trust me...it's way better than any other option (being put in the bilge and made to drink it? ummm...ew!?). **thank you colin, for the flowers. you are one of my best friends and i'm more glad than you know that we've kept each other around for 10 years.

**argosy university, today you allowed me to feel as if i'm not wasting my life away in a customer care center by accepting me into your psychology program. if it were possible to hug a school, i would have hugged you all day today. **by the time i boarded the ferry for west seattle on sunday morning, i was just about pirated out (not to mention in bad need of a shower) but the renaissance faire was so fun and it was nice to spend some time with my mom & greg. the hours and hours that my mom and i spent making a dress paid off because i was cute: as was everyone else:

we got to be the entertainment as our group was sort of 'under' another group as performers, so we sang songs on stage and shot off cannons to start everything off. absolute favorite? the troll that hung out under the bridge grabbing people's ankles as they walked by. sadly, my ankles never got grabbed however, at the prodding of my mother, i did get a picture with the troll (which, of course, refuses to load right now-if you head to my flickr badge below you can find it). it was so fun, i might even go back next weekend.

**it's only tuesday and i am facing three more days of sitting at home alone working on emails. i'm not quite sure i'm going to make it through. seriously. by about 1pm i'm ready to start knocking on neighbors doors just to be able to look into another human face for the briefest of moments (before they slam the door on me because i'm just staring at them with glazed eyes). i don't think working at home for an entire week is good for ANYbody.

things are okay right now.

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Blogger K DATE:8/15/2006 09:46:00 PM Heh. I think you may miss us. Your desk is too quiet anyway, COME BACK! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Blogger Kelly Bean DATE:8/15/2006 10:08:00 PM I do miss you guys. And as lonely & weird as it gets I'm just not willing to let go of the following things:

1. ability to clean real quickly whatever might be nagging in the back of my mind.

2. ability to cuddle with sadie for a minute at any time of the day.

3. not showering until noon.

4. ability to wear sweats while working.

it's not bad enough for that yet. :) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Anonymous DATE:8/16/2006 09:11:00 AM The Ren Faire looks like so much fun! So many people are natural performers that it's great to have such an interesting forum for it. You are way cute! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Blogger Kelly Bean DATE:8/16/2006 09:39:00 PM My pat-someday you will have to come to one. I suspect you would have a raging good time. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Blogger Marion McCready DATE:8/17/2006 07:05:00 PM It sure looks fun, my husband would be sooo into that - I think he thinks he was born in the wrong century! I like your pretty flowers - it's so nice when someone buys you flowers though I'm normally good at killing them fairly quickly! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Blogger Kelly Bean DATE:8/18/2006 07:47:00 PM Sorlil-It seems like maybe they would have those sort of festivals in the UK, no?

And the flowers are still pretty-days later. I think they're magic. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Anonymous DATE:8/20/2006 04:22:00 PM not often and they're normally held down in England - we get our Highland games instead! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Blogger Marion McCready DATE:8/20/2006 04:24:00 PM oops the above anonymous comment should say 'sorlil said...'! ----- -------- AUTHOR: Kelly Bean TITLE: funny. ass. bitches. DATE: 7/20/2006 12:38:00 PM ----- BODY:
i forced myself to go to a birthday party last night. when i say forced-it's not that i had to force myself because of whose birthday party it was because, really, i just recently met her, but do absolutely love the girl. i say forced because it's become apparent to me that it is easier than i had first thought to slip back into the stage of desperately needing medication. i know because i almost went back this week in a moment of 'i-can't-handle-my-emotions-please-poke-my-eyes-out-so-i-don't-have-to-deal' weakness. no. i just. won't. do it. (sidebar: not to mention that by going-i got to wear the new sex kitten shoes.) i had never been to the whiskey bar which is cleverly located in a prime people watching spot downtown on 2nd ave., complete with a cozy patio area outside & barrels for tables (yes, barrels...and they came in oh-so-handy when it came time to fold myself up in order to release all pressure on my aching feet-damn you shoes). nice to know it's there (yay for $1 PBRs)-nice to see cute V. having fun and all dressed up on her birthday-nice to meet new friends that i get an absolute kick out of. we met A. as we walked in & upon being introduced to her i immediately thought, this is a genuine person. i appreciate this more than words can explain. when you are truly genuine, i know exactly what i am dealing with at all times-i know what you think-i know exactly how to interact with you. i liked her right off the bat. i liked her even more when she started sharing her people watching game with me. i had mentioned how much i enjoy people watching especially now after developing my shoe problem since that's what i look at the most (regretfully-i judge them on the basis of their shoes as well...it's sick, i know). "there's this game i play when people watching if you want to know about it," she says to me at one point. game? i like games. "so, when you see someone walking down the street, you have to guess what type of music they listen to based on their appearance alone." this disappointed me. it was comically easy for one thing-rap/rock/punk, etc.-and certainly not a funny game. i said nothing of my disappointment though. i continued in my valiant attempt to see what was funny about it. that is until we both looked at the same bohemian/hemp/long skirt-wearing youngish lady and she blurted out, "sarah mclaughlin". then i realized what was funny about it. (disclaimer: i enjoy sarah with all my heart and soul, so the posting of this was in no way a dig.) at that moment, i got her and seriously enjoyed her conversation and ended up laughing with her and piglet the rest of the night. apparently she enjoyed the company of piglet and i equally as well as evidenced by a moment when a friend of hers showed up and casually asked what was going on. her reply? i've been hanging out and cracking up all night with these funny ass bitches. i'd never been called a funny ass bitch before...i quite enjoyed it. i responded in kind by telling her that i had actually thought that she was the funny ass bitch, not us (because i really had). all the way home i congratulated myself on forcing my body out of the house to socially interact with others. i have a new friend-i got a little closer to another friend-i laughed and had a genuine good time for the first time in a while-i learned a new game...best of all, i brought my brain back from the hole that it had started to burrow and retreat to.

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----- -------- AUTHOR: Kelly Bean TITLE: seattle pride 2006 kicked my butt DATE: 6/25/2006 03:27:00 PM ----- BODY:
it was actually the straw that broke me this weekend. i reached piglet's at 9:45am this morning back from westport (pirate festival) not having washed my hair in days, sunburnt, with a barstool in the back of my car (amazing that i made it back at all considering that on 4 hours of sleep i turned a three hour drive into a two hour one and was so out of it when i started this morning that i almost ran two red lights in aberdeen). despite the impending heat wave that we were about to spend hours in we dutifully set off for the pride parade, but not until almost 10:30. parade started at 11:00. on the way to the freeway we happened to see someone waiting for the bus who could only have been headed to the pride festival (complete with rainbow lei) and felt bad for the poor fellow seeing as how there was no way he was going to make it down there in time. in the spirit of the day we stopped to ask if he wanted a ride to pride (we actually did say it like that too, rhyming and everything). the situation was completely safe considering that he was gay and we are girls...no one was going to be hurting anyone. the whole thing was funny considering that it turns out he is a friend of one of our coworkers (WHY does seattle just keep getting smaller???). it was a fun trip down there. of course, considering it was piglet and i trying to figure the whole thing out by the time we got downtown (hello blind leading the blind) we were somehow under the impression that they were lining people up at the seattle center, so we secured parking nearby. low and behold, after walking around the center for a few we finally learned that the parade was actually lining up down on union. 10-12 blocks away. nice. the parade was awesome though and i'm glad i dragged my butt through it. everyone loved the fact that our company was marching in it, with a float and everything. it was nice to be part of the group supporting it. and it actually worked out well that we had a nice 10 block walk before it even started since we actually ended up at the seattle center when the parade was over. i am ever grateful for the city of seattle for putting that huge fountain in the center of things because the first thing we did was head there and douse ourselves. by the time it was over both of us were delirious with heat, poor sadie (did i mention i put a cute little pink silk bow around her neck & walked her through it on a little pink leash?) didn't know what end was up by the time she was done after dealing with huge crowds of people in what felt like deadly heat (poor girl just about hid behind my legs everytime the cannon went off on the seafair pirates duck thing). even now, she can't hardly move. it was all i could even do to muster the energy to drag her smelly self and my smelly self into the shower when i got home. it was really all i had left. please make sure you take a moment to click on this & see how tired her eyes actually were by the time we were done. after standing in the fountain for a while all we could do was lay in the grass like lumps. it was nice-people watching, chatting. however, it didn't take long before i entered into the 'i have to go home zone'...that place that i end up in when horrifyingly tired where i am so single-minded about getting home that i feel sorry for whomever stands in my way. i cannot hardly move, i can't speak to anyone (nor do i really want to)...it's a toss up as far as how long i have the stamina to even hang out at my computer before moving to my cozy bed, not to be moved (because if someone did, all i can say is god rest their soul) for the rest of the evening. and i haven't even started explaining about westport yet. but there's just no energy for it. and as tired and worthless as i am at this moment, i was actually more thankful than it really sounds here for the ridiculous busy weekend because it took my mind off of sad things and sad situations for a while. albeit, i am now back to reality, but at least i'm too tired out to worry about the fact that somewhere along the line recently my heart became so broken by someone that i can't even figure out how to find the pieces much less put it back together. nor do i even have the words to explain it to them. nor would they probably care considering they have much more 'important' things to worry about. so i suppose that instead of saying that the pride parade kicked my butt, i should probably say it saved me a bunch of heartache today-because all i want to do is lay like a lump on a log...and i've sort of earned it.

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----- -------- AUTHOR: Kelly Bean TITLE: it should have been obvious. DATE: 6/21/2006 09:22:00 AM ----- BODY:
the amazing difficulty with which i have had to drag myself out of slumber for the past week could have told me something. my appetite rebelling against me could have been a sign. even the simple fact that it hasn't happened to me in some time now really should have clued me in. getting. sick. it started last night. in a vain attempt at self-delusion i thought that maybe i had been cleaning and had completely forgotten about it (i am regularly rewarded for my sometimes obsessive cleaning with something similar to hay fever). no. i awoke to a head full of fluff, runny nose and that nagging, stinging sensation in the back of my throat. unmistakable. damnit. it wouldn't really be that big of a deal were it a normal week. however, in two days i have to be fully prepared for raping and pillaging the small town of westport, WA (on second thought, please replace 'raping' with 'enjoying adult beverages'). rusty scupper days. no, i'm not joking. we're even mentioned on their website (that's us in bold): "We've had a great time meetin' n piratin' with all the other pirate crewes who have blown into town: The International Pirates of Seattle, WA; the Pirates of Ocean Shores, WA; Treasure Island Pirates of Seattle and the Beer Bard Privateers from Canada. All of 'em great pirates/people to have visit." i even have a way cute outfit outfit to wear too...

to get the true full effect, picture me in it with a red stuffy nose and ample luggage under my eyes from not being able to sleep at night.

argh.

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----- -------- AUTHOR: Kelly Bean TITLE: nothin' says friday like a toasted strawberry pop-tart DATE: 5/26/2006 08:46:00 AM ----- BODY:
in case you were wondering? un-hot: *today, in 1521, martin luther was banned by the edict of worms because of his religious beliefs and writings. learn something today. (censorship & hatred? never attractive.) *dreaming about the awful ex whose name must never actually be mentioned again due to angry words and what they brought back up. had i the misfortune of seeing said awful ex, i would punch him in the face in a fairly matter-of-fact manner, treat him to a tremendous helping of fuck you, you fucking fuck and move on quietly. sometimes i actually wish that would happen so that i could just get it over with (or at the very least, i sometimes wish i could find said ex on the internet so as to send them the detailed novella i wrote containing my thoughts on the relationship...that, at least, would be sort of like a mental punch in the face and that would appease the crazy monster that apparently lives inside my head that i have started to embrace). hot: *i had almost forgotten about pop-tarts. thank you vending machine filled with horribly pleasant evils. *partaking in a whiskey tasting to kick off my memorial day weekend. billiam, i'll pour a little out in your honor (it's the least i can do since i don't even like whiskey but wish i did because girls who drink whiskey? hot). *girls that can successfully pull off a cute little pot belly. *j... *getting some (i could say excuse me for the crass expression, but, um... i'm not going to because sometimes being crass is a little hot too). *nathion singing karaoke at the shaw... *this flower that's blooming in my rented backyard right now... *me.

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----- -------- AUTHOR: Kelly Bean TITLE: hip-ster: n. slang, One who is exceptionally aware of or interested in the latest trends and tastes, especially a devotee of modern jazz. DATE: 5/03/2006 11:57:00 AM ----- BODY:
rather, that's what it used to mean. nevermind the fact that yet another term that used to have at least some actual meaning has been taken and drug into the ground of the 21st century. nevermind the fact that it's just one more social bandwagon for people to jump on in order to identify themselves/hide because god forbid they put any original thought into who or what they really are. what really gets me going is the hair. exhibit A: um...excuse me? did you lose an eye in a freak sandbox incident as a child and are too embarassed to let anyone see? exhibit B: on what planet do they have the right to rename the mullet and call it cute?

on the off chance that you are reading this and saying to yourself 'what the...', do a simple google image search for hipster. if that still doesn't clarify it, take a walk around the streets of seattle. make a day of it. although, make sure you visit the city of ballard first. traditionally known for the ballard locks, golden gardens (our favorite place to smuggle booze into as adolescents), a healthy smattering of norwegians and an even more healthy smattering of organic markets...it is also, as i was told today, the place where hipsters go to die. which is sadly unfortunate as i used to really appreciate what ballard was about...it's where my ancestors hailed from before it turned into a hipster graveyard (yes, we're norwegian...uff-da, lefsa and all that jazz).

at any rate, if you do happen to make it to ballard be sure to look for the following (please be sure that you use the links for further photographic assistance if necessary):

A. any variation of the hair referenced above (and/or hair that is intentionally mussed). p.s. it's no mistake that i chose leonardo dicaprio even though by definition he is not a "hipster". B. a facial expression that subtly screams 'i'm way too hip for you...but i don't even care about that'. C. any variation of the hair above + stock facial expression + parliament cigarettes. D. any combination of the above found in a hole in the wall, back-alley bar drinking PBR. E. trucker caps. F. any dated t-shirt displaying a symbol with which the wearer couldn't possibly have any connection with. G. shoulder-strap messenger bags.

i could go on, but why?

to begin to sum up i would like to reference the following blurb courtesy of the onion:

Two Hipsters Angrily Call Each Other 'Hipster' March 29, 2006 Issue 42•13 AUSTIN, TX—An argument between local hipsters Dan Walters and Brian Guterman has devolved to the point where each is angrily calling the other "hipster," those close to the pair reported Monday. "Hey, hipster! Here's 12 bucks—why don't you go get yourself a bucket of PBRs at the Gold Mine?" Walters, 22, is said to have told Guterman, 22, invoking the name of a local bar known for its "poseur" clientele. "Whatever you say, scenester," Guterman allegedly replied. "Don't you have a Death Cab For Cutie show to be at right now?" Acquaintances of Guterman and Walters trace the long-running conflict back to high school, when they reportedly threw pencils at each other and argued about who was more "emo."

although...nothing really says it better than this...

p.s. if you feel the way i do then you might also appreciate this...http://www.hipstersareannoying.com/

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