AUTHOR: Kelly Bean TITLE: I moved DATE: 10/18/2006 06:17:00 PM ----- BODY:
Yup. Sorry. I will implore you to follow and I know how irritating it is to change links, etc. But here's the thing...I would like the things that I do to mean something. Rather than change myself on blogger (which I've grown tired of in its limitations) I moved to typepad. :) So...please visit me here as I will no longer be posting on this blog: The Second Shift. It does have a meaning. Go find out. P.S. I am in the slow process when I have time of moving my posts (which will admittedly take a year) as well because I just can't let things go...so if the chronology looks odd, you are now informed as to why.
----- -------- AUTHOR: Kelly Bean TITLE: Stars upon thars DATE: 10/16/2006 06:50:00 AM ----- BODY:
The friend closest to my heart gave me a nickname not long after I met her...sneetch. Sounds odd, I know. It is my favorite nickname of all time though, and not simply because she bestowed it upon me. The actual story behind it is what causes me to embrace it. It was given originally because I have a tattoo of a nautical star on the back of my neck-she said that tattoo reminded her of a sneetch with a star on its belly every time she saw it. No, the tattoo is not in the same spot-that's beside the point. As you can probably guess from the picture this is none other than a Dr. Suess story-coincidentally my favorite author as a child, along with countless other children. The story begins by describing two different character groups-sneetches with stars upon their bellies, and sneetches that had none-of course, the sneetches with the stars feel that they are superior to the other ones.
Now the Star-bellied Sneetches had bellies with stars. The Plain-bellied Sneetches had none upon thars. The stars weren't so big; they were really quite small. You would think such a thing wouldn't matter at all. But because they had stars, all the Star-bellied Sneetches would brag, "We're the best kind of Sneetch on the beaches."
It continues on to describe how horrid the star-bellied sneetches behave...
With their snoots in the air, they would sniff and they'd snort, " We'll have nothing to do with the plain-bellied sort." And whenever they met some, when they were out walking, they'd hike right on past them without even talking. When the Star-bellied children went out to play ball, could the Plain-bellies join in their game? Not at all! You could only play ball if your bellies had stars, and the Plain-bellied children had none upon thars. When the Star-bellied Sneetches had frankfurter roasts, or picnics or parties or marshmallow toasts, they never invited the Plain-bellied Sneetches. Left them out cold in the dark of the beaches. Kept them away; never let them come near, and that's how they treated them year after year.
Sound like a familiar issue yet? Especially the part where someone has to come along and be the one to instigate change?
"My friends, " he announced in a voice clear and keen, "My name is Sylvester McMonkey McBean. I've heard of your troubles; I've heard you're unhappy. But I can fix that; I'm the fix-it-up chappie. I've come here to help you; I have what you need. My prices are low, and I work with great speed, and my work is one hundred per cent guaranteed." Then quickly, Sylvester McMonkey McBean put together a very peculiar machine. Then he said, "You want stars like a Star-bellied Sneetch? My friends, you can have them . . . . for three dollars each. Just hand me your money and climb on aboard." They clambered inside and the big machine roared. It bonked. It clonked. It jerked. It berked. It bopped them around, but the thing really worked. When the Plain-bellied Sneetches popped out, they had stars! They actually did, they had stars upon thars! Then they yelled at the ones who had stars from the start, "We're exactly like you; you can't tell us apart. We're all just the same now, you snooty old smarties. Now we can come to your frankfurter parties!"
And then we get to the crux of the story...
"Good grief!" groaned the one who had stars from the first. "We're still the best Sneetches, and they are the worst. But how in the world will we know," they all frowned, "if which kind is what or the other way 'round?" Then up stepped McBean with a very sly wink, and he said, "Things are not quite as bad as you think. You don't know who's who, that is perfectly true. But come with me, friends, do you know what I'll do? I'll make you again the best Sneetches on beaches, and all it will cost you is ten dollars eaches. Belly stars are no longer in style, " said McBean. "What you need is a trip through my stars-off machine. This wondrous contraption will take off your stars, so you won't look like Sneetches who have them on thars." That handy machine, working very precisely, removed all the stars from their bellies quite nicely. Then, with snoots in the air, they paraded about. They opened their beaks and proceeded to shout, "We now know who's who, and there isn't a doubt, the best kind of Sneetches are Sneetches without." Then, of course those with stars all got frightfully mad. To be wearing a star now was frightfully bad. Then, of course old Sylvester McMonkey McBean invited them into his stars-off machine. Then, of course from then on, you can probably guess, things really got into a horrible mess. All the rest of the day on those wild screaming beaches, the Fix-it-up-Chappie was fixing up Sneetches. Off again, on again, in again, out again, through the machine and back round about again, still paying money, still running through, changing their stars every minute or two, until neither the Plain- nor the Star-bellies knew whether this one was that one or that one was this one or which one was what one or what one was who! Then, when every last cent of their money was spent, the Fix-It-Up-Chappie packed up and he went. And he laughed as he drove in his car up the beach, "They never will learn; no, you can't teach a Sneetch!" But McBean was quite wrong, I'm quite happy to say, the Sneetches got quite a bit smarter that day. That day, they decided that Sneetches are Sneetches, and no kind of Sneetch is the BEST on the beaches. That day, all the Sneetches forgot about stars, and whether they had one or not upon thars.
I love that my nickname has to do with that story. The obvious moral aimed at children, of course, is that no one should be treated poorly or trodden upon simply because they are different or look different. However, there's another moral hidden in that story as well that I certainly wouldn't have gotten as a child... You can teach a sneetch. That's why those of us who see the world for what it really is keep trying-why we don't get overwhelmed with everything that needs changing. Everyone is capable of a different way of being.

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Anonymous DATE:10/16/2006 08:47:00 AM Heard worse nicknames... ----- -------- AUTHOR: Kelly Bean TITLE: Buy some red things DATE: 10/14/2006 06:35:00 AM ----- BODY:
It's really no wonder that so many people would prefer to live in ignorance of the really freakin' big picture...why a majority (more specifically the majority in America that have at least some modicum of income, etc.) would prefer to just see a tiny little picture. See, if the blinders stay in place people can continue to complain about not being able to take the vacation they really want, or how boring their job is, or that they can't afford the car they really want, or so many other ors. How entirely rich our country is, that so many of us can complain about things like that. Of course, this all includes those of us who can afford to worry about things like that, rather than where we're going to eat next.
In reference to AIDS statistics of South Africa, Avert claims that in many cases "people are dying of AIDS before they can starve to death". Education and condom use is great, and these things are going on there as well...but individual changes of behavior have to be supported and allowed for them to actually work.
There are large social and economic gaps between women and men in Zimbabwe, and these inequalities have played a central role in the spread of HIV. Constrictive attitudes towards female sexuality contrast with lenient ones towards the sexual activity of men, resulting in a situation where men often have multiple sexual partners and women have little authority to instigate condom use. Sexual abuse, rape and coerced sex are all common, and as the economy deteriorates more women are turning to sex work as a means of survival.
Then there is the issue of money which brings me to the entire point of this. For millions that already have the disease, medication and health care aren't even an option because they don't even have the few dollars a day it would take to procure such a luxury. This is where the red stuff comes in...
I watched Oprah last night, because sometimes I do that, and the show was about one of Bono's new campaigns "Red". I have no problem admitting that it made me cry...if you have a beating heart how does a bombardment of images like this one not make you cry?

I'm not even going to explain what it is, because hopefully it makes you curious as all hell and you find out for yourself.

P.S. Should you be in any position to buy me a gift in the next few years for a birthday, or holiday...only buy something related to that website.

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----- -------- AUTHOR: Kelly Bean TITLE: Women this week DATE: 10/13/2006 08:25:00 AM ----- BODY:
Women still hurting in Bukavu Alertnet.org
Hundreds of women were captured, raped, tortured and terribly traumatised by militias in D. R. Congo. Those who escaped are going through a healing process, but their predicament is still dismal.
The Congo's only specialized rape clinic has dealt with over 10,000 cases in the last seven years. Terrorism is defined as the systematic use of terror, such as violent or destructive acts commited by groups in order to intimidate a population or government, as a means of coercion. That's from our dictionary; but I suppose in real time it's only considered terrorism if it happens to us. Women’s Prison Healthcare Called ‘Grossly Deficient’ Blackvoicenews.com
Some prisoners incarcerated at the California Institution for Women at Corona were routinely denied basic health and dental care...

Women's Day- Should It Be Celebrated Americanchronicle.com

Ideally when one thinks of a woman, one should not think about them different in any respect to men.
Sure, ideally it wouldn't actually be surprising or noteworthy that a woman or woman of color for that matter reached the top of a giant corporation; there is a reason that it is and would the author have gone just a half step further they would have answered their own hypothetical question. My favorite argument that people like to bring up when this subject comes up (admittedly it does not happen often) is "...look at women like Oprah or Martha Stewart...what do you mean glass ceiling?". Well, yes...but, they started their own parties...at no point did they have to compete to get into the men's club which is almost invariably at the top of most corporations. Don't even get me started on the argument of Condoleeza Rice as a representation of how women or women of color are fairly represented in the government

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----- -------- AUTHOR: Kelly Bean TITLE: When just for a moment-all is right with the world DATE: 10/12/2006 10:27:00 AM ----- BODY:
It's like that sensation of butterflies in the tummy at the exact same moment that a smile starting genuinely from the inside, makes its way to the outside and would render another person helpless to resist beaming as well were anyone actually in the room.
"Congratulations! I am very pleased to inform you that you have been selected as a recipient of the Community Involvement Award starting Fall 2006. I was very impressed with your work and potential to succeed at ______* University/Seattle. I personally wish to congratulate you on your accomplishments and thank you for the time and energy you put into the application process...The award will be $___* per semester..."
 You really know a quality smile when it lasts into the next day even. *Identifying and/or private details such as money stuff are usually omitted.

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Anonymous DATE:10/12/2006 04:03:00 PM WOWEEZOWEE!!

What a welcome letter that is! and no surprise to those of us who know how much you deserve it!

congratulations, Love, P ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Blogger Kelly Bean DATE:10/12/2006 04:07:00 PM I do so love you...thank you. :) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Blogger Marion McCready DATE:10/13/2006 01:53:00 PM that's great, well done!! ----- -------- AUTHOR: Kelly Bean TITLE: Hidden victims of a brutal conflict: Iraq's women DATE: 10/11/2006 01:27:00 PM ----- BODY:
Wherein we are given even more proof that we are involved in a war which serves the interest of a few and says everyone else be damned.

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----- -------- AUTHOR: Kelly Bean TITLE: No one ever says, "I want to be a wind-up doll when I grow up" DATE: 10/11/2006 07:14:00 AM ----- BODY:
Oh, but it's okay after all...people aren't allowed to touch them. What a relief, because that would really mean they were contributing to objectifying women...
"The Margaret Thatcher government challenged and then revoked the club's casino license in the U.K. in 1981."
P.S. There was a reason for that challenge. How quickly that is forgotten.

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Anonymous DATE:10/12/2006 12:46:00 AM Hopefully this will go the way of "Hooters Air" and just sputter out in a year or two... ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Blogger Kelly Bean DATE:10/12/2006 10:20:00 AM That would be nice-although I won't hold my breath. It is Las Vegas after all, where morals and values go the way of the toilet. ----- -------- AUTHOR: Kelly Bean TITLE: Staggering in its violent message DATE: 10/10/2006 01:37:00 PM ----- BODY:
I had every intention of spending a trillion pages outlining the ignorance infused discussion had in my class last night regarding the validity of the feminist perspective theory in psychology. Essentially this theory posits that the personal is political; that is, one cannot be separated from the system in which they live and interact in...one cannot be separated from how the system has affected their "pathology", or "dysfunction", so to speak. Most traditional theories of psychology today (and/or the foundations to such) were created by white men...too many conclusions in the DSM IV are based on normal emotional reactions to life aimed at pathologizing women. Last night I listened to other women, fellow classmates, tear the validity of such apart, saying that we are so much farther ahead than we were that the theory loses some of its appropriateness today...that the theory should equally talk about how women and men have been objectified by the patriarchy embedded in most of the world...that it is nothing but a theory based on an outdated "political agenda" that has no basis today (and I guarantee that the political agenda they were referring to as if it tasted awful to even say it, was the stereotypical picture of man-hating/insane/irrational/unreasonable/victimized/crazed feminist that has become so popular nowadays). It was fascinating (in the fascinating way that you can't tear your eyes away from even the most gruesome of car accidents) to watch fellow women decry our own statement for rights/equality/safety. I was going to drone on and on about it in that particular way that I am capable of. Until I saw this. Which in turn led me to this. Seriously...if you don't have time, make time to read them. I fear that anything I tried to say to convey the complete wash of disgust that clouded my brain up after reading about the above would be lost in my sometime weaknesses as a writer. Think words can't be violent? Share with me how you feel then, after reading what was written to this woman. {1} What happens in the pit of your stomach when you read:
you dumb slut you fucking retard Ha ha, you're a dirty whore YOU DESERVED IT, YOU SLUTTY LITTLE WHORE SHUT YOUR GODDAMN FUCKING MOUTH, CUNT Your life is fucking worthless you goddamn slut Please kill yourself now bitch I hope you feel good about murdering your kid whore Tough shit slut You are a disgusting little shit of a woman

It made the back of my neck crawl right up off my back and run out of the building...and I'm even a little desensitized to violent language having been in a position to have heard it frequently for a few years. It brought up all the reactions that might be typical to someone who is socially aware and human; I felt sick, I wanted to cry and could not because I am at work, I became angry, a small part of myself felt ashamed to be part of the same species that regardless of what it was that they hated or disagreed with, would say those things to another person.

If the creation of blogs and the reading of blogs like these do nothing more than spread further the knowledge of what still happens in this century that many people want to stuff down into the drains of history in order to pretend that's where it stayed, then they have done a great service. If they can make people aware of how far we actually have not come as a society or world so that people in this country stop hiding behind the lazy way of "but look at all that has changed" (a.k.a. "Look at how far we have come in America so that means things are so much better, doesn't it?") then they have done an even greater service.

{1} Aside: I refer to her, not by using her blogging name, but by saying woman with a specific purpose in mind. Just as what happens when speaking to a stranger via phone, when contacting someone via a website something funny can sometimes happen for the one doing the contacting...they lose their awareness that they are addressing an actual person.

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----- -------- AUTHOR: Kelly Bean TITLE: Violence Against Women Officially Declared a Human Rights Violation DATE: 10/09/2006 04:16:00 PM ----- BODY:
"[As] long as violence against women continues, we cannot claim to be making real progress towards equality, development and peace"... Just now, it's "unacceptable"...

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----- -------- AUTHOR: Kelly Bean TITLE: It was everything I had hoped it would be DATE: 10/09/2006 01:31:00 PM ----- BODY:
I have moved a total of 11 times since the age of 20 (that's an average of 1.375 times per year). I counted because it was brought to my attention that some people consider it humorous that I continually move-that I can't stay in one place for a myriad of different reasons that don't normally make themselves clear until the lease is about to expire. Okay. I'll give that one up...it is chuckle worthy that I'm a little crazy that way. I get my own dose of humor that people even find my craziness funny. As J pointed out, there always ends up being something unjustifiably wrong with a place that only months prior I was more than happy to exhaust myself (and others) in order to move into. But, um...there is usually something wrong by the time the lease is up-and it's not always my fault. At some point my residences do me horribly wrong. Case and point...
Move #1-Moved in with boyfriend to Lake Forest Park.
Move #2-Promptly broke up with boyfriend one month later and moved out, in order to move in with best friend in Edmonds.
Move #3-Moved out after becoming not so best friends, in order to move in with irresponsible male friend & messy male friend/ex to Shoreline (did I mention I made stellar decisions back then?).
Move #4-Moved out after 2 months in order to move in with new boyfriend (after dating for only 2 months) to North Bend.
Move #5-Two months later moved back home after new boyfriend assaulted our roommate causing them to move out & us to not be able to afford the house anymore...moved to my mom's house in Lake Forest Park. Had to move out shortly thereafter for all the obvious reasons.
Move #6-Moved to the first apartment that only I was responsible for (and would therefore keep) in Mountlake Terrace. Not really totally sure why I left there...it may have had something to do with needing to not be in a place that I was once terrorized by someone in.
Move #7-Moved in with next new boyfriend temporarily (consequently have kept said new boyfriend the entire time up until now) in Everett. Had to move out shortly thereafter because I wanted it to be a temporary thing only.
Move #8-Moved to yet another "my own apartment" in Edmonds. Had to move out because I had gotten a new job downtown and had grown tired of driving for eternity every day (I think they were going to significantly raise my rent as well).
Move #9-Moved on my own to Lake City which was somewhat closer to work. Had to move out because I didn't sign a very long lease & they were going to raise my rent.
Move #10-Moved to Greenwood because a)it was cheaper, b)it was a little closer to work, and c)it had a huge yard & tons of space (due to yard, was able to look past the fact that it was a basement, therefore dark...and had only a skinny shower stall rather than a bathtub). Had to move out because with the onset of fall it became even more dark in there as well as the fact that spiders began to move in on the house in droves (not to mention the skinny shower stall).
Move #11-Moved to Queen Anne where currently I am completely ass over tea kettle, in love. It is bright, it is in the middle of everything and there are people around and fun things to walk to and coziness and close to school/work and, and, and.
A bomb would have to go off in the building before I started to hate it at this point. And despite the sad fact that by the time J and I finally fell asleep last night the entire less than 500 sq feet looked like a war zone with how little I had gotten organized, I was frighteningly happy to be sleeping there...even in an ungodly mess. I would bet my dog that this new apt. will probably never do me wrong.
As you can see below, high school reunion was more fun than I allowed myself to think that it could be and I left it feeling happy that I had made the choice to do it...
The only low point of the weekend? Effing kiddie porn freaks get set free.

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----- -------- AUTHOR: Kelly Bean TITLE: Late on the uptake DATE: 10/05/2006 07:03:00 PM ----- BODY:
Okay, okay-I know that October started 5 days ago and along with it breast cancer awareness month, so that if I was going to be overloading on pink in honer of it I should have started a while ago. Shoot me-this week it was Emile Durkheim in all his social anomie glory that took up the entirety of my brain. Sidenote: what an awesome month to have quit smoking...odd how it just worked out like that without me planning it that way. I tortured myself for the impending high school reunion (taking place tomorrow) today. For me, torturing equates to a trip to my waxing ladies. Ow. I do usually treat myself to a manicure at the same time which is so very pleasant...although I still haven't learned to save the manicure for last rather than the waxing. However, I'm not sure which is worse-sitting there for a half hour for all the other women to see me with a flaming red (burning, I might add) face because I saved the manicure for last, or having to end the pampering on a negative note. Still undecided about that one. I must say though, that she went abso-effing-lutely to town on my eyebrows this evening. They still hurt. I (partially) come from a long (and tall) line of norwegian women...lefsa eating, lutefisk making women. For any of you that aren't aware, those of us blessed with a percentage of this blood, tend to be furrier than the average bear. This translates into hellfire when getting eyebrows (or anything else for that matter) waxed. I have built up an enormous amount of trust with one particular nail/wax/etc. place in Edmonds. Having built up this trust as a result of going only there for almost two years now, I go nowhere else. Nowhere. All past experiences in doing so have led to only bad, bad things, so I stopped messing around. Usually, I know what to expect...I know how my nails will look, how long they will last, how my eyebrows will look, etc. It's pretty much status quo at this point. Not today. "A", one of my favorite women there, was the one to help me with my assorted requests this evening. Nails came out looking wonderful, as I knew they would, and I loved her for it-I told her so as well. Then it was eyebrow time. Maybe she sensed that I had a "going out" event tomorrow evening...after all, we all know each other pretty well at this point and knowing people pretty well gives you a pretty good feeling for their "vibes" and such stuff. Maybe I just mysteriously had more eyebrow than usual (I really didn't think it had been that long since I was in, but maybe so). For all that is sacred on this earth, though, when she started the whole business, it was all I could do not to push her away from my face and run screaming out the door. It wasn't just that she waxed the hell out of my face-it's that she did way more than they normally do. For example, she broke out little scissors after the whole wax mess which is entirely unusual, and starting cutting them, during which time I screamed over and over in my head 'are you leaving me any eyebrows, because I sort of need some'! In a matter of seconds, which is just about how long it took even while it seemed like an eternity to me, I had imagined the remaining course of my life without eyebrows. Because I'm crazy like that. Although I heart this woman to death for all that she does for me, in that particular moment I have to admit I hated her a little bit...especially during the pepper of little tweezers to pick up whatever the wax hadn't ripped off, which continued on and on for a lifetime despite my best efforts to sink my head into the chair I was sitting in...away from those nasty little metal things. Despite the exaggeration, I'm really not sure why it was all that much worse than normal...it just was. To salve my wounds I try to keep looking at my cute nails, which sort of make up for it. I move in two days. P.S. I so love what she did to my eyebrows.

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----- -------- AUTHOR: Kelly Bean TITLE: Ms. magazine names women who had abortions DATE: 10/03/2006 10:14:00 PM ----- BODY:
I should be writing my assignments that are due this week since there is a multitude of things I have to do this weekend (i.e. attend reunion, spend time with Kel, maybe hit up Van's girl's night out on Saturday, move on Sunday, allow J to pay for moving truck even though I'm all weird about the fact that it's really my problem to take care of, not his)...only Ms. Magazine sort of screwed that all up. My favorite part of this article was when Ms. Brown of American Life League fame was quoted as saying "the evil practically jumped right off the page". Really? Did it bite you in the ass too because, if so, I hope it hurt like hell. When I read that quote the first thought I had was witch trials...seriously, it's the first thing that came to mind. Something else that was stimulated and "justified" by religion which brought about nothing but hatred and (ironically enough) "evil" in the end (see also...pagans). BTW: The article also mentions South Dakota's plunge off of the deep end wherein they're proud of their frenzied, scared support of abortion being illegal even in cases of rape or incest...of course, ya'll know how I feel about that. One thing that strikes me, simply about this article alone is that entire "evil" thing...because that quote ("the evil practically jumped right off the page") just really stuck me in the wrong spot. Am I incorrect in the assumption that those who have a fundamental belief in Jesus, God, whatever it may be, allegedly believe when it comes right down to it that judgment is between an individual and their God? Am I wrong? If I am, may God, Buddah, Allah, She-ra or whomever, strike me dead right now. I have never once heard someone of this belief reasonably justify why being believers in a fill-in-the-blank-here religion translates into the assumption that they are the watchtowers of others' behavior...of why they feel they have the right to do what they believe their God does (judge others). Seriously...if someone knows where there is a rational, reasonable argument for that I would like to know. I really, truly want to understand why women are telling other women what/when/why/where to do with their bodies. And, oh yes...you bet your ass I signed that petition on Ms. Magazine's website. (hint, hint...you can sign it simply in support as well).

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Anonymous DATE:10/04/2006 03:56:00 PM god, these people who call this "evil" are the same crazies who protest outisde with the poster size pictures and say that plan b is abortion. I think they have this ingrained image that if a woman has an abortion..or probably even is sexually assaulted, battered, or anyhing...that they should be utterly ashamed, destroyed and cowering in regret and guilt instead of the real truth which is that these women aren't buying into some bible thumping and are speaking out and rejecting the culture of blame/shame. i haven't really read Ms. mag...but this is an incredible statement. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Blogger Marion McCready DATE:10/05/2006 06:28:00 AM As someone who doesn't support abortion I certainly don't judge individuals and the choices they make particularly in cases of rape etc - I've no idea what I would do in that situation. Neither do I think anti-abortion has to be a religious thing, but I do think it is important that there are people who support the rights of the unborn child. Not that I agree with what and how it is said in the article, I guess the real issue is over whether a woman's right to control over her body is more important than an unborn child's right to life. But then many people don't view a foetus pre-20 weeks as a living being with rights - I suppose it comes down to how one views pre-20 week foetus' - just my opinion, no one has to agree with it. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Blogger Kelly Bean DATE:10/05/2006 07:31:00 AM I completely agree that it doesn't have to be a religious thing-that's what I never understood about people that make it about that. I can respect someone's perception of life and what is right or wrong for them, we're not all going to believe the same things...I've just never been able to respect those who speak through a religion and judge others rather than just speak about how they feel.

I realize as well that it's an incredibly complex issue. I really appreciate you sharing your viewpoint Sorlil. :) ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Blogger Kelly Bean DATE:10/05/2006 07:37:00 AM Luke-it's definitely an incredible statement. I was actually really surprised to read about it because if anyone has done something like that before, I certainly haven't heard about it.

So much more would get done regarding this issue-and the rest of the world's issues for that matter-if we could just eliminate the tendency of some to attack people rather than the issue. ----- -------- AUTHOR: Kelly Bean TITLE: Well paint me pink and call me crazy DATE: 10/03/2006 12:00:00 PM ----- BODY:
During the time I was smoking regularly, I spent approximately $12,045.00 on it. That's a car. That's a down payment on a condo...or maybe a small house. That's 63% of the total cost to get my bachelors degree (thank you Billy Bean for doing math for me because I'm too silly to figure it out). I hope that Phillip Morris & Altria Group (bastard parents of Phillip Morris company) appreciated it...that hard earned money of mine that is. I was playing around online today, even though I should have been reading/studying my ass off considering all the work that I have to do in the next few weeks (end of the first term..FINALS), and happened upon the Washington State Quitline website. In hindsight I probably should have chosen the studying because after my visit & what I read, I got angry. But on a positive note...here's what is happening/starting to happen for me now... 20 minutes after quitting smoking: Your blood pressure drops to a normal rate for you. The temperature of your hands and feet increases to normal. 8 hours: The carbon monoxide level in your blood drops to normal. The oxygen level in your blood goes up to normal. 24 hours: Your chance of a heart attack goes down. 48 hours: Nerve endings start re-growing. Ability to smell and taste begins to improve. 2 weeks to 3 months: Your circulation improves. Walking gets easier. Your lungs perform up to 30 percent better. 1 to 9 months: There's less coughing, sinus congestion, tiredness, and shortness of breath. Cilia (tiny hairs) re-grow in your lungs to better handle mucous, clean your lungs, and reduce infection. 1 year after quitting: Your extra risk of coronary heart disease is half that of a smoker's. 5 to 15 years: Your stroke risk goes down to that of a nonsmoker. Heaven alive. Seriously.

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----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Anonymous DATE:10/03/2006 08:26:00 PM Did i do the give you $100 if you quit thing? I know i did it with a couple other people and it gave just a bit more incentive. The deal is no smoking for six months and i'll give you $100. Just throwing my hat into your ring, love, p ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Blogger Kelly Bean DATE:10/03/2006 10:09:00 PM Are you serious? I know you're not the type to play with me like that. Really? Do you know what that is? That's $100 towards my student loans...really.

Well...at this point I have almost 4 days with not a single cigarette. We'll see how it continues to go.

It would be a whole lot easier if J quit too-although I realize that I'm fully responsible for what I do. I'm working on harassing him. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Anonymous DATE:10/04/2006 08:32:00 AM Of course i'm serious.

Yay for 4 DAYS!! ----- -------- AUTHOR: Kelly Bean TITLE: As if it had swallowed me whole DATE: 10/02/2006 02:22:00 PM ----- BODY:
In 5 days I will be sleeping in downtown Seattle. My thoughts are consumed by this. I think it might be unhealthy. I can see the Space Needle's head from my apt. parking lot... I am so entirely excited by this whole moving thing that it has managed to push aside my anxiety over the sneaky-question "quiz" (that is really a test in a poorly constructed disguise) I have to take tonight. Thank you P, for the validation that a tiny fridge is perfectly okay (especially in light of the fact that I hardly ever have food in my large sized refridgerators anyway).

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----- -------- AUTHOR: Kelly Bean TITLE: wrap up DATE: 10/01/2006 08:04:00 PM ----- BODY:
I have worked over 65 hours this week. I've written three papers and studied three chapters all about cognitive behavioral, multimodel stuff. I've done this all on an average of 5 hours of sleep per night. None of my pants fit anymore. I actually have to worry about holding them up if I happen to forget a belt on a particular day. Today, for a moment, I fell asleep on the floor at work. It was during the home stretch of my 11 hour shift. I sort of look like I have cancer of some kind...all sort of hollow. Despite all of that, I'm still totally ready for this week, excited even...with high school reunions, and moving into new places and all of it. Took J to see my new apt. on Saturday night. We were standing in the hallway that happens to be my kitchen too and he asked me if I had a fridge. I frowned, and actually started looking for it because it's not something I had thought about before. Then I noticed it. It's little. I have a hotel fridge. But damnit I have an actual bathtub rather than just a skinny shower stall for the first time in 9 months.
----- COMMENT: AUTHOR:Anonymous Anonymous DATE:10/02/2006 09:46:00 AM That little refrigerator thing is pretty normal for downtown apartments. I looked at a nice condo in the Newmark building and it had a million dollar view and a little fridge also. I think the premise is that since you are downtown, you will be shopping daily for groceries instead of doing the suburban stock up for months at Costco thing. ----- -------- AUTHOR: Kelly Bean TITLE: Only iTunes DATE: 10/01/2006 07:15:00 AM ----- BODY:
In all its random glory, would placeVivaldi's violin concerto in A minor back to back with House of Pain. This is part of what makes work fun...especially when I have spent my entire weekend working overtime. I love you iTunes...I really don't know what I would do without you.

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